stupid questions
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends…
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don’t u know, I sell tickets in black over here…
2. In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.
3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people asks…
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer: Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question: Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:-No, he’s a miserable wife-beating insensitive lout…it’s just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. You dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I’m shedding……
9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks…
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: Gosh, it’s a miracle …………it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!
5 shots of Jack
5 shots of Jack
A guy walks into a bar and quickly says to the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"
The bartender looks at him and says, "Damn buddy, are you having a bad day?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my brother is gay!"
The bartender, feeling bad for the guy, says, "Damn, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me."
The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. A week later the same guy comes into the same bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"
The bartender looks at him and says, "Damn buddy, are you having another bad day?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my other brother is gay too!"
The bartender says, "Damn, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me again."
The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. The next week the same guy walks into the same bar and says, "Bartender give me 10 shots of Jack!"
The bartender looks at him confused and says, "Damn buddy, doesn't anyone in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife!"
A guy walks into a bar and quickly says to the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"
The bartender looks at him and says, "Damn buddy, are you having a bad day?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my brother is gay!"
The bartender, feeling bad for the guy, says, "Damn, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me."
The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. A week later the same guy comes into the same bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"
The bartender looks at him and says, "Damn buddy, are you having another bad day?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my other brother is gay too!"
The bartender says, "Damn, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me again."
The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. The next week the same guy walks into the same bar and says, "Bartender give me 10 shots of Jack!"
The bartender looks at him confused and says, "Damn buddy, doesn't anyone in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife!"
Mag-subscribe sa:
Mga Post (Atom)
